Funny
Retirement Poems Including
Teacher Retirement
Poems
This webpage contains inspirational and funny retirement poems.
This is in line with the philosophy
of The Joy of Being
Retired Website, which is to prove that
retirement
rocks.
In other words, we
want to celebrate retirement instead of looking at it as a bad
thing. This is what I also do in my international best-seller How to Retire Happy, Wild, and
Free.
Retired is being twice tired, I've thought
First tired of working,
Then tired of not.
— Richard Armour
My age is just a number.
I really just don't feel old.
Tell this to my wife, and she will say,
Viagra is the reason that I feel so bold.
— COPYRIGHT
© Dave Erhard —Used with Special
Permission
Life is mostly froth and bubble.
Two things stand like stone:
Dodging duty at the double,
Leaving work alone.
— Unknown Retired Person
My life has been one great big joke,
A dance that's walked
A song that's spoke,
I laugh so hard I almost choke
When I think about myself.
— Maya Angelou
I guess I'll have to change my [retirement] plan
I should have realized there'd be another man
Why did I buy those blue pyjamas
Before the big affair began?
I guess I'll have to change my [retirement] plan.
— Howard Dietz
If you wish to grow thinner, diminish your dinner,
And take to light claret instead of pale ale;
Look down with an utter contempt upon butter,
And never touch bread till it's toasted — or stale
— H. S. Leigh
I don't know what old is yet,
Something about days of yore,
I'm "only" 63,
So it must be at least 70 or more.
— COPYRIGHT ©
Dave Erhard —
Used with Special Permission
The Retiree's Creed:
Early to Bed
Sleep in late
Collect your pension
Ain't life great!
— Author
Unknown
A GREAT RETIREMENT GIFT BOOK FOR YOURSELF
OR OTHERS ABOUT TO RETIRE
The Joy of Being Retired
365 Reasons Why Retirement Rocks —and Work Sucks!
by Ernie J. Zelinski
Purchase
The Joy of Being
Retired at:
The Joy of Being Retired on Amazon.com
The Joy of Being Retired on Amazon.ca
Funny Retirement Poems about
Money
Never ask of money spent
Where the spender thinks it went.
Nobody was ever meant
To remember or invent
What he did with every cent.
— Robert Frost
Wisdom doesn't automatically come with old age.
Nothing does — except wrinkles.
It's true, some wines improve with age.
But only if the grapes were good in the first place.
— Abigail Van Buren
I'm tired of Love: I'm still more tired of Rhyme.
But Money gives me pleasure all the time.
— Hilaire Belloc, "Fatigued," Sonnets and Verse, 1923
Clearly money has something to do with life.
In fact, they've a lot in common, if you enquire:
You can't put off being young until you retire.
— Philip Larkin, "Money"
Retirement Verse That
Should Have Been
Written by Ernie Zelinski (But
Wasn't)
I call the following retirement verse an "early retirement poem." I discovered it on the Internet while
searching for funny retirement
quotes for the Retirement Quotes Website and anything
related to my international best-seller The
Joy of Not Working. The creator of the poem Van Tu practices The
Joy of Not Working better than I do!
The Joy of Not
Working
I spend the whole early morning
In bed
Listen to light music
Daydreaming on and off
I leisurely take a long hot shower
Scrubbing myself from top to toe
Enjoying my excellent
Health
I go for a slow walk after lunch time
Admiring the lovely flowers in the sunshine
Along the way
I ride my bicycle all over town
The cool breeze blowing in my face
Transports me back to sweet
Saigon
When I was a carefree innocent teenager!
Those who know don't work . . .
( COPYRIGHT
© by Van
Tu — Used with Special
Permission)
Retirement Poem (Song) by
Busker Ben Kerr
Photo of Ben Kerr (His T-shirt Relates to Cayenne Pepper)
The following retirement poem is actually a song about the joys of early
retirement and the joys of not working written by the
late Ben Kerr, an amazing individual, who lived in Toronto and made his living as a busker. In days bygone, you
could find Ben singing at the corner of Young and Bloor or at the Kensington Market. Ben wrote this song soon
after we met, when I gave him a copy of my international best-selling retirement book called The
Joy Of Not Working (Over 310,000 copies sold and published in 17 foreign languages).
The Joy of Not
Working
I know the joy of not working nine to five
Singing every day at Yonge and Bloor
Strumming my old five-string guitar
It's the joy of not working and that's for sure
People say that I'm a lucky guy
And they wish that they could be like me
To know the joy of not working from nine to five
To be footloose and fancy free
But they'll never lose the treadmill that they're on
And it's sad to see dejection in their eyes
The joy of not working could be there
But they're just too afraid to try
Ernie J. Zelinski wrote a book
The
Joy Of Not Working is its name
'Cause Ernie is a fellow just like me
And the joy of not working is his game
I know the joy of not working nine to five
Singing every day at Yonge and Bloor
Strumming my old five-string guitar
It's the joy of not working and that's for sure
Strumming my old five-string guitar at Yonge and Bloor
It's the joy of not working and that's for sure
The joy of not working and that's for sure
— Ben Kerr
COPYRIGHT ©
— Used with Special Permission
More Funny Retirement
Poems
On with the dance! let joy be unconfined;
No sleep till morn, when Youth and Pleasure meet
To chase the glowing hours with flying feet.
— Lord Byron (writing about parties, if not retirement parties)
Drink, and dance and laugh and lie,
Love the reeling midnight through,
For tomorrow we shall die!
(But, alas, we never do.)
— Dorothy Parker
Not-So-Funny Retirement
Poems
Fear no more the heat o' th' sun,
Nor the furious winter's rages.
Thou thy worldly task hast done,
Home art gone and ta'en thy wages.
— William Shakespeare
I grow old ...I grow old
I shall wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled.
Shall I part my hair behind?
Do I dare to eat a peach?
I shall wear white flannel trousers, and walk upon
the beach.
I have heard the mermaids singing, each to each.
I do not think that they will sing to me.
— T. S. Eliot (Thomas Stearns Eliot) American born writer and poet, from The Love Song of J.
Alfred Prufock
No memory of having starred
Atones for later disregard,
Or keeps the end from being hard.
— Robert Frost, U.S. poet. Two Tramps in Mud Time
We start early in the morning,
And work until we have to go to bed.,
The heck with talk about retirement,
We can't even pay attention, let alone the rent,
If this is all there is to living,
We would all rather be dead.
— Workplace Graffiti
Learn to live well, or fairly make your will;
You've played, and loved, and ate, and drunk your fill:
Walk sober off; before a sprightlier age
Comes tittering on, and shoves you from the stage:
— Alexander Pope
An elegant sufficiency, content,
Retirement, rural quiet, friendship, books,
Ease and alternate labor, useful life,
Progressive virtue, and approving Heaven!
— James Thomson
Not a Teacher Retirement
Poem, But One
about
Trying to Be an Artist in
Retirement
And the first rude sketch that the world had seen was joy to his mighty
heart,
Till the Devil whispered behind the leaves "It's pretty, but is it Art?"
— Rudyard Kipling
For More Retirement Poems and Funny Retirement
Quotes
See:
Coming Soon
- More Funny Retirement Poems
- More Teacher Retirement Poems
- Principal Retirement Poems
The World's Best Retirement
Book
Over 425,000 Copies Sold and Published in 10
Languages
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your retirement karma points while discovering . . .
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WEBSITE COPYRIGHT © 2022 by Ernie J. Zelinski
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